I Don't
by aubreyposens
Summary: Its been years since Chloe and Aubrey spoke last. Now Aubrey is in the midst of planning her wedding and has chosen Chloe as her made of honor. Will old memories and emotions resurface and change everything? Or will the passage of time and present circumstances douse the festering flame that has been with them since the beginning?
1. The Letter

They told the story differently every time. Both of them had varying opinions on which one started it all, but the one thing they could agree on was that their story definitely all began with a letter.

A letter, according to the dictionary, is a "a written or printed communication addressed to a person or organization and usually transmitted by mail." What the dictionary fails to mention is how a few simple paragraphs either written or typed onto a piece of paper can change one person's life, or in this case two people's lives, forever.

"Finished!" Aubrey Posen looked up from the cluttered table and smiled at her fiancé Eric triumphantly. "I told you I would be done with these by the 20th," She said smugly, tilting her head backwards and throwing her pen in the air. "NO MORE WRITING FOR MEE!" Eric laughed and glanced at the table on which his soon-to-be wife worked tirelessly for days trying to write out all of their 250+ wedding invitations. It was covered in so many papers and envelopes in so many different stacks it was virtually impossible to actually see the wood underneath. "Now you have the fun job of cleaning all of this up." Aubrey groaned and sunk down in her seat. "Hey, you were the one who insisted on doing this, not me. I said you could type them but NOO-" "They look more classy this way!" The blonde interjected loudly. "I don't really care how they look, babe. We just need this mess to be cleaned up soon, and I have to go to work! Taxes don't collect themselves, you know." Eric replied, swiftly grabbing the first invitation he saw and started reading it. It hadn't been put into an envelope yet.

Aubrey stared blankly at her fiancé. Eric was an average man in every sense of the word. Average job, average looks, average in bed- your regular Jo Shmo. He was a simple man and him and Aubrey couldn't be more different. But opposites attract, right? She had met Eric at a restaurant a few years back. He was a gentleman to her and they hit it off right away. It's just that sometimes… Aubrey felt like she put more into their relationship than Eric did. And sometimes she would get this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach that this wasn't right. That she wasn't meant for Eric. She sometimes even wondered if she was making the right decision by marrying him. Aubrey would usually brush off these feelings and pretend like nothings wrong and everything was perfect and under her control, but deep down, if she really contemplated it, Aubrey knew that she was settling for Eric because she genuinely afraid that nobody else would love her. A high-maintenace and overbearing personality came with a price, as Aubrey had learned the hard way over the years. She didn't want to feel this hopelessness. Eric was a great man and Aubrey was happy being with him. Its just that he didn't really connect with her on the level that- he wasn't… wasn't…

"Chloe Beale?" Eric's voice stirred her to attentiveness and she looked up at her fiancé, startled. "Your best friend from college?" "What about her?" Aubrey shifted in her seat. She was tired and her hand was cramping and not in the mood for a long conversation. "Is she still going to be your maid of honor? I know you've been talking about asking her for a long time." Aubrey's eyes glazed over and she became suddenly very intrigued in a small ink stain on the oak of the table. Aubrey had started out with the best intentions to ask Chloe to be her maid of honor in the early stages of her (solo) wedding planning. She had been excited, even. But as the days rolled by and the weeks turned into months and the date of the wedding came closer, Aubrey became less and less motivated to actually discuss really anything regarding weddings with Chloe. But she was her best friend. Weren't best friends supposed to be super excited and involved in wedding plans and the dress and girly shit like that? That's what they always made it seem like in the movies. And why wasn't Aubrey also really excited to have her best friend take part in the most important day of her life? Aubrey wringed her hands together under the table nervously, fingering her engagement ring. "I'll call her tonight," she said, finally looking up at Eric. "Okay?" He nodded and stood up. "Okay." "Now that that's taken care of, I better take a nap if I have to clean up this mess by MYSELF-" "Yeah, you better do that," Eric grinned, grabbing his briefcase and heading for the door. "I'm ever so sorry Aubrey. I mean, if there's any thing I can do to help…" He said teasingly. "Fuck you." Aubrey called over her shoulder as she headed over to the bedroom. "And I hope you have a terrible day at work."

_Two weeks later_

Chloe closed the door to her one-room apartment forcefully and rubbed her forehead, in the process dropping all the mail she just got from her doorman Allan. Work was horrible today. Usually the kids she nannied for_-_ _nannied? Is that even a word? Nannying?-_ usually the kids she looked after were a joy to be around but Mr. and Mrs. Peterson have been gone for going on two weeks on their annual vacation and Max and Chastity were according to Max, "getting sick of Chlolo." She inhaled deeply and picked up the scattered envelopes and those stupid little catalogs that no one cared about. Chloe dumped them on the counter and started going through them. "Bills, bills, bills, nothing but motherfucking bills," she murmured and practically threw herself onto the nearest stool, draping her arms over her legs. She could have slept for 100 years and still wake up looking like a freaking zombie. But something caught Chloe's eye. One of the envelopes had slid across the counter in a way close enough to be hit by the light reflecting off of the tiny window next to the sink. Chloe slowly but surely managed to snatch the envelope and tore open the letter- or invitation, rather- all without leaving her seat. Her clear blue eyes grew wider as they scanned the words on the paper, which read:

You are cordially invited to celebrate

the wedding of

Aubrey Elizabeth Posen

and

Eric Channing Peterson

On Tuesday afternoon

June the 27th at 4 o'clock

The Commerce Club at 191 Peachtree

Followed by a reception

Ps. Call me when you get this, Chloe!

"I thought this wasn't happening until next year!" She sprung up, shouting, and then remembered that she wasn't actually alone in this godforsaken building. Chloe slowly walked over to her sofa. She sunk down and bent her head down, closely studying the wedding invitation, her strawberry-blonde ringlets cascading down the sides of her now slightly paler face. _These must have taken Aubrey a really long to write, _was all Chloe could think of when she stared at the invitation. Wasn't she supposed to be all happy and running around screaming? Aubrey was her best friend, so why didn't she care? And why was she a tiny bit upset over it? She thought she knew why, but Chloe quickly shook away the thought. It's been years. The ginger ran her hands over the page and she could feel the indentations where Aubrey had pressed harder on the pen whilst writing. _Wait, aren't I supposed to call Bree?_ Somehow this thought soothed Chloe and she pulled out her phone. _Fuck, I probably don't have her number or something, with my luck._ Nevertheless, she quickly scrolled through her contacts and found Aubrey Posen on the list.

Soon to be Peterson.

Chloe pressed on the call button and swallowed hard. She nervous to talk to Aubrey for some reason but also extremely excited to hear her voice again. They hadn't seen or heard from each other in over a year.

This dial tone was driving Chloe insane. Could Aubrey pick up already? _Or can it just ring forever?_ The now 27 year old fondly remembered their college years while she waited. Her heart ached just thinking about it. About how long its been, things she could have said or done…

Suddenly a voice came through on the other end.

"Hello?"


	2. Doors

_Barden University: Freshman Year_

"Here is your official BU rape whistle. Don't blow it unless it's actually happening." Aubrey just stared at the overly enthusiastic peppy blonde. For once she was at a loss for words, but not for long. "Awesome! Just what I needed." She remarked sarcastically over her shoulder to the girl. If this was any indication at how her next four years at Barden University were going to be, she needed all the help she could get.

After walking around the campus like an idiot for a couple of minutes, the blonde finally found her dorm room. _Jesus, am I like the last person here or something? _Almostevery door she passed was already covered in white boards scribbled on and various papers and magnets. Aubrey brushed her dirty blond hair out of her face and tugged on her messenger bag. There it was. Room 427. Out of all of the doors on this freaking floor, the one that was present before her was the most decorated, and that was saying something. There were little pink sticky notes covering the entire thing with cute little sayings like "If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" and "You can't buy happiness but you can buy tea, and that's kind of the same thing." There were also like, 50 pictures of every singer heard over the radio in the last 5 years and sparkly microphone stickers everywhere. The name Chloe was written over and over on a single sheet of paper in different styles in the middle of the door. _That's a pretty name_, Aubrey thought. But the girl who opened the door was even prettier. "Hi, I'm Chloe Beale!" She said breathlessly. "You must be my new roommate. Its so good to finally meet you!" Before Aubrey could even reply the girl was already hugging her. Her striking red hair smelled like watermelon shampoo. "Hi…" Aubrey tentatively hugged her back. Chloe pulled back and smiled brightly. She had the bluest eyes Aubrey had ever seen and her hair was really red. Like, Ariel from the Little Mermaid red. "What's your name?" "I'm Aubrey. Aubrey Posen," she replied and before she knew it Chloe was dragging her by the hand into their room. "This is my side," she gestured to her small desk which already had loads of paper on it and her bed. _Which was unmade._ Aubrey cleared her throat. If there's one thing she can't stand, its messiness. "So I take it you've been here for a while?" The blonde said, walking over to the unclaimed bed on the other side of the tiny room and setting her bag down on it. Chloe plopped down next to her and explained that she had been so excited to go to school here that she came almost a week earlier than you were supposed to. All Aubrey could think about was the fact that it's only been a week since Chloe's been here and their room was already a complete disaster. This was going

to be a long year.

The two girls made small talk for a couple of minutes, and Aubrey soon learned that Chloe had that annoyingly infectious personality that made everybody want to be her friend. Even if she was talking about paint drying, Chloe was the kind of girl that made everything sound interesting. Aubrey looked at the girl, transfixed, as Chloe continued talking about how fun this year was going to be and that soon they were going to best friends. Aubrey also learned that her favorite color was green, she hated spinach, and she had the same desk back at her house all in the time span of about two minutes. Aubrey had never been this intrigued by a single person before.

The red head suddenly let out a gasp, startling Aubrey. "Oh my god! Today's the day, I almost forgot! How could I forget?" She stood up abruptly. Aubrey swung her legs back and forth on the bed lazily and asked, "forgot what?" She would be lying if she said she wasn't slightly amused by Chloe's absentmindedness. It was actually kind of adorable. _Adorable? Where the fuck did that come from?_

Chloe swiftly walked up to Aubrey, and breathlessly replied, "Today's the last day to audition for the Barden Bellas! It's like, the coolest a capella singing group on campus. "

Aubrey made a face like she'd eaten an especially sour lemon._ Seriously?_ _A capella? _Chloe rolled her eyes. "Don't be like that. They're seriously the ." Aubrey snorted. Chloe ignored this and continued, "The best of the best." _How could there be a "best? They're all equally idiotic._ "And all girl! Will you come with me? Pleeaaase?" Her eyes sparkled when she spoke.

"Well…" Aubrey had never actually sung in front of anybody, let alone gone on an _audition. _But she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it. At the same time she wouldn't be caught dead being a part some kind of weird singing group where every single move was cheesily choreographed and even poorly executed. Even if Chloe said it was cool. But then again…

Chloe plopped down and kneeled on the floor near Aubrey's feet, trying a different tactic. "Pleaase? I won't do it without you." This kid knew how to get what she wanted. _And she probably has never gotten no for an answer._

"Fine." Aubrey heard herself say. _What?! No!_

"Really?" Chloe squealed and stood up. Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Whatever." _Kill me now._

"Well, come on!" She grabbed her roommate's hand and pulled her off the bed. "I'll lead the way!" Before she could protest, Aubrey felt herself being rushed out of the door by the insistent red head and she couldn't say she did much to stop her.


	3. A Proposal

_Present Day_

Her voice sounded different, and Chloe couldn't put her finger on it. "Hi Aub," She said back brightly. "Oh my god Chloe! How are you?" Aubrey said breathlessly. She could hear the faint sound of Eric watching TV in the backround. "I'm fine, what about yourself? I mean you called me for a reason, right?" Chloe smiled and leaned back on the couch as she heard Aubrey laugh on the other end. "Can't a girl call her best friend just to say hello anymore?" Chloe ran her fingers through her ginger hair. "But you're you," she spoke warmly. "There's always a reason." "Shut up," Aubrey said jokingly. "If you must know, there's something I have to talk to you about." Chloe's back stiffened. "Are you free today?" "I'm always free, my dear." Aubrey laughed again and Chloe felt her cheeks flush slightly. "Lets go to Monet's then."

Chloe beamed. She hadn't been to Monet's in what felt like years. There was nothing particularly exciting about the small coffee shop in Chloe's hometown of Atlanta, Georgia, but every time Aubrey would visit the two would go there just to catch up. Chloe could still remember the first time she took her there, all those years ago. It was the summer of their sophomore year in college. Aubrey just thought it was the coolest place in the world. She wore her cute yellow peacoat jacket that Chloe had helped her pick out earlier that day. "Monet's sounds great."

_Later that evening_

"Chloe." The ginger looked up from her steaming cup of coffee and turned to see a tall blonde with striking blue-green eyes that sparkled when she laughed standing in the doorway. Chloe's breath almost caught in her throat. Aubrey," she breathed.

She was wearing a turquoise blouse without sleeves and her grown out hair flowed down her bare shoulders in waves. Her red skirt complemented it nicely in a way that wouldn't work on anyone else. Her skin had a light tan, and she looked older somehow, as if in the year since Chloe had seen her last she'd been through a lot. As if she wasn't already tall, Aubrey wore pumps that Chloe could never in a million years pull off. She walked over to the table where Chloe was sitting near the back of the coffee shop. The ginger couldn't help but notice how toned her legs were. Chloe suddenly felt underdressed, wearing a horizontally striped tank top and faded flared jeans with boots. "Fuck you and your style," she teased as she stood up to hug the blonde. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Aubrey rolled her eyes and hugged her friend tightly. " But what are you talking about?" she said, holding Chloe out at arms length. "You look great!" Chloe looked down at the grown and back up at Aubrey cheekily. _Here come the butterflies again. Not much has changed, has it?_ "Thanks."

Aubrey looked around the room, her hair whipping around her shoulders. "Kinda weird how there's like, no one here huh?" Chloe couldn't help but laugh. "Not many people decide to just go to Monet's at 11 o'clock at night, Aub." "Well if you put it that way…." She grinned, setting down her purse on the table and sitting down opposite from Chloe. How did Aubrey always look so beautiful? "So…" the ginger pried, tilting her head slightly. "What do you wanna talk about?" Aubrey looked down at her hands, fingering her engagement ring. _I knew it had something to do with the wedding. _"So you know how i'm getting married in like three months?"She looked at Chloe, her eyes especially big. "Yeah…?" _Tell me something I don't know. _Aubrey wringed her hands together nervously, continuing to twirl her ring. Chloe swallowed. It was very distracting. Aubrey suddenly looked up at Chloe and smiled weakly. It seemed like she'd made her mind about whatever it was she wanted to tell Chloe. "Do you want to be my maid of honor?" Aubrey spoke the sentence so fast Chloe couldn't even hear what she had said. "What?" Aubrey sighed. "I said… Do you want to be my maid of honor for the wedding?"

Chloe blinked. _Oh. _That was a big deal. _Maid of honor. Jesus. _For a while it all seemed far away for Chloe; the wedding and all. But this news, with Aubrey asking her this, it really made reality sink in. She was forced to deal with it now. _But what's "it?" Why do I even fucking care? _Her stomach was doing flip flops. She had to respond to Aubrey's proposal sooner or later.Chloe inhaled and attempted to smile at Aubrey. "Are you kidding? Of course! I would love too! That sounds like so much fun!"

Aubrey sank back in her chair in relief. That went better then she expected it to. _Well, what did you think, that Chloe would say no?_ And she was lying. Anyone could see that. But it was better than nothing. "Great," Aubrey said breathily. Chloe's smile faltered. She felt a pain deep in her chest. But just as quickly, Chloe leaned over the small table and grabbed both of the blonde's hands. "I can't wait to help you pick out your dress! I mean, if you let me." Aubrey was speechless for a moment. _But… what? Is she genuinely happy for me or not? _It was hard for Aubrey to think straight with Chloe so close to her face. _Her hair smells so good. My god, she's so beautiful. And- _"Sure," Aubrey squeaked. "Yay!" Chloe beamed and squeezed her hands tightly. Aubrey squeezed hers back. Maybe everything was going to be all right.

Chloe's thoughts daunted her the whole drive back to her apartment. _Aubrey must think I've gone insane. She knows I was lying. I could care less about this fucking wedding. All I know is that I just want to see the girl I love in a wedding dress. _Her fingers tightened over the steering wheel. She couldn't afford to think like this. Aubrey was getting married to Eric. Because she loves him. And not her. In just three months they would be husband and wife. _Is this how it feels to have your heart broken? _


	4. Gardenias

Aubrey smiled as her best friend eagerly helped her pick out flowers to set her wedding tables with. "I cant' wait for the girls to get here." She was referring to the Barden Bellas, since Aubrey was inviting all of them to stay over for the bachelor party before her wedding. She was actually looking forward to seeing the old gang again, surprisingly. "What color do you like the best?" Chloe asked her, picking up one of the numerous color swatches on Aubrey's worn down coffee table. She already knew the answer, of course. Aubrey took the color swatch away from her friend and looked at her. "Red, you know that! But red isn't really known for its wedding credentials." She said, teasing Chloe playfully. "Remember the Slushie incident?" The little ginger grinned and grabbed her arm. Aubrey laughed, relishing in the memory that seemed as if it occurred just yesterday.

In the beginning of sophomore year, the campus was abuzz with the arrival of Slushie machines in the cafeteria, complete with do it yourself dispenses of almost any flavor imaginable and customizable cups. It was cheesy as anything, but Aubrey could still feel the excitement in the room as everyone from Barden crowded into the cafeteria, awaiting the big moment when the machine was revealed, like small children waiting for the ice cream truck to make its way up the street. She could still feel Chloe's hand tightly interlocked with hers as the two bounced up and down excitedly. Aubrey fingered the red patch on the color swatch and smiled to herself.

Little did she know, things were about to go downhill very quickly. As soon as the machine was up and running, Chloe made sure she was the first to try it out by pushing and shoving her way through hoards of upperclassman who were too drunk or stoned to care. "Chlo, wait up!" Aubrey remembered herself saying as she ran to catch up to the ginger. But by the time she got to the Slushie machine, it was already too late. In her eagerness, Chloe had pushed down on the nozzle for the Cherry flavor too quickly and the machine malfunctioned. Aubrey watched as the girl tried desperately to fix it, and the crowd of students behind her start to stir. The Cherry mixture built up inside the machine and exploded out all over the floor and onto Chloe and everyone around her. The room went dead silent, and Chloe froze in shock. To this day, the look on her friend's face never failed to bring tears of laughter to Aubrey's eyes. The Slushie machine was immediately sent out for repair and as it turns out, all of the company's products were cheap and never worked, so it wasn't really all Chloe's fault. The first day it was in business was the last time anyone saw that Slushie machine.

Aubrey eyed her friend from under her eyelashes, trying to regain a tone of seriousness. "Yes, I remember. Now can we get back to the flowers, please?" She watched as Chloe uncurled her legs out from under her, rolled her eyes, and went back to flipping through wedding catalogs. There was a brief moment of silence as the two women went back to work. That was the thing about Chloe, you could do and say just about anything with her and not have it be awkward, that's just how free and accepting of a person she was.

"Hey." Chloe crooned softly, taking Aubrey out of her trance. "Yeah?" She noticed that Chloe had moved closer to her while she was flipping through the numerous wedding magazines splayed out in front of her. "What about some gardenia's with light green ribbons? I know how much you like gardenias." Aubrey pushed her light blonde hair back from her face, slightly flustered. How could Chloe have possibly remembered such a minute detail about herself after all these years? She swallowed and sat up. "Yeah, yeah I do love gardenias." She paused. "But the green ribbon…?" Chloe smiled, the skin around her blue eyes crinkling in the way that Aubrey loved. "To match your eyes." Aubrey felt her heart skip a beat and her mind go a million miles an hour. _My eyes. Chloe was thinking about it matching my eyes. That's so sweet and thoughtful, almost romantic. Eric would never have considered that. Oh Chlo…_ She was half aware as Chloe leaned over and held up a light green patch of color to her eyes. It matched her eyes almost perfectly. Chloe's perfume smelled nice and Aubrey could feel her hair brush up against her arms, giving the blonde chills. "See?" She said softly, pulling her hand back. Aubrey's lip trembled slightly, almost unnoticeably, as her best friend sat back in her chair. _No wait, that feels nice Chloe. Come back. _Aubrey sat up sharply. _What am I thinking? _She cleared her throat. "Yes, I see. I love that idea Chloe, thank you!" Aubrey flashed her friend her warmest smile, the kind she only used for her. "Yay!" Chloe clapped her hands and held them under her chin, beaming. _She's so adorable_. "Whaaat's next?" She said, playfully leaning into the bride-to-be.

Aubrey turned to her, still smiling unfalteringly. Convincing? Most certainly not. "Next?" She said, grabbing Chloe's hands tightly. "Next, you are going to help me pick out the perfect wedding dress."


End file.
